THIS IS A COUNTDOWN

it is easy to be alive on a weekend
in the middle of june with the windows open
and you are alone on your back in bed
a pile of cookies to your right and a video game on your left
but you make it hard anyway
close your eyes
on the back of your eyelids you paint a portrait of the artist
as a smiling baby with suicidal tendencies
on the back of your eyelids you paint a portrait of the artist
shaving her legs on her 7th birthday
on the back of your eyelids you paint a portrait of the artist
playing cops and robbers with her best friend
and the robbers always win by strangulation (and it is always sexual)
on the back of your eyelids you paint a portrait of the artist
seducing her college professor in a chatroom meant for studying tips
on the back of your eyelids you paint a portrait of the artist
vigorously running away from used bodies and into the next month
10,000 dollars later the artist fills a u-haul and drives it
to the biggest city in america
she stares at screens and eats cheese and eats bread
but she never eats them together
on the back of your eyelids you paint a portrait of the artist
painting a portrait of an immobile artist
the immobile artist eats a sandwich and you think
‘at least’

 

 

(Sarah Jean Alexander is a writer from Baltimore. Her book of short stories and poems, Wildlives, is forthcoming from Big Lucks Books in February 2015. She currently lives in Brooklyn and tweets at@sarahjeanalex.)