Ana Carrete is a poet based in San Diego, CA.

She has been online since the early 2000s.

Her first blog, I do not have penis envy,

attracted many freaks.

She founded the online literary journal

New Wave Vomit. From 2010 to 2016,

she read hundreds of submissions,

pissed off some people,

and published over 300 artists.

She is the author of 2 full-length poetry collections,
3 chapbooks, 1 poster-book,

and 4 self-published zines.

KILL HELL

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CUTE OUTFIT

FOR WILL SMITH

• I go to StubHub and find out Will Smith tickets are $10.
• I buy 1 ticket.
• I download the ticket to my wallet.
• I wait in line for 40+ mins.
• There is a line to go in.
• The show’s start time is set for 7:00 pm.
• It's 6:53 and I'm waiting in line with about 20 people in
  front of me. Many are behind me.
• Plenty are here on dates.
• I love that for them.
• A dude walks towards the line with a professional
  camera.
• I get suspicious.
• The dude with the camera shouts, "Will social media!
  Make some noise for Will!"
• Dude.
• Hell yeah.
• People in the front of the line make noise.
• Those of us in the middle of the line got the memo a
  little too “in the moment”.
• The "wooo" gets weak.
• I am part of the weak "wooo" crowd.
• How embarrassing.
• I'm getting hyped. It’s working.

• I hope he plays Wild Wild West.
• I get a calendar reminder notification that tells me I need to take
  out the trash tonight after the Will Smith show.
• It's 7:01 pm and the line starts to move.
• 7:05 pm I’m in.
• 7:08 pm I’m sipping a Modelo.
• 7:09 pm Merch table. I’m considering getting a Will Smith dad hat.
• 7:14 pm Dad hat acquired.
• 7:20 pm Chatting it up with a family.
• 7:30 pm I ask if they’re hoping he plays specific songs. They tell
  me about how they were in a dance group as a child. We would
  always dance to Will Smith songs for some reason. They had a
  routine for Miami, Wild Wild West, Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It, and Men in
  Black. They wore suits and tiny sunglasses.
• 8:03 pm I have been talking with people I randomly keep running
  into. One of them tells me he will be Santa tomorrow at a local
  Farmer’s Market.
• 8:07 pm I go to the bathroom before the show begins.
• 8:13 pm I run into another group of people I recognize. No one
  can believe this show is happening. It feels like a fever dream.
• 8:14 pm Will plays Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It. Crowd goes
  wild.
• 8:25 pm Will talks about his DIY beginnings. You needed a cousin
  who would record your songs with cassettes. I eat it up. I nod in
  agreement with the millionaire. I feel like a class traitor. You nod
  and agree.
• 8:33 pm He transitions into a whacky version of The Fresh Prince
  of Bel Air. We all sing along and lose it.
• 8:40 pm A very hot woman compliments my outfit.
  She's putting on lip oil as she compliments me. She
  points at my outfit with her lip oil wand. I compliment
  her too.

• Will talks about when he first became a father and sings his
  version of Just the Two of Us.
• 9:05 pm I’m in the bathroom as Men in Black begins
  to play. I run back.
• 9:13 pm Making moves. It’s been decided we are going to the
  front to see Will up close. I’m short and block no one.
• How much is his chain worth? It's so shiny.
• 9:14 pm Will asks the crowd to take a moment to send positive
  energy to everybody around them. Someone plays the violin
  beautifully as he says this. Will points at people and says, “I know
  you can make it” over and over.
• 9:20 pm Will Smith spoken word poetry time.
• 9:26 pm Will reveals he is a work of art. Repeats the verse a
  bunch. Sings it.
• 9:33 pm Beach ball playground time. Beach balls are thrown into
  the crowd. We participate.
• 9:36 pm Will takes out a selfie stick and records himself with us
  as he performs. He says goodbye. No encore.
• 10:21 pm I’m back home. Nutty Buddy for dinner.
• 11:07 pm I open a second package of Nutty Buddy. I attempt to
  finish watching an Antonio Banderas sci-fi movie "Automata"
  (2014).
• 10:12 pm Antonio asks a robot "Are you the boss?"
  The robot replies, "Boss is a human thought
  structure". I remember memes.
• 10:13 pm Is Will Smith still a scientologist? He seemed spiritual in
  a common way.
• 10:15 pm I find an article that says Will identifies as christian.
• 10:20 pm I wash my face and brush my teeth.
• 10:41 pm I go to bed.

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